Monday, February 1, 2010

False Identity


Remember back in our adolescent days we would be nervous about buying cigarettes and booze or anything that could potentially put us at risk of being called out? I used to try buying cigarattes when I was 16, walking into a convenience store like I owned the place and asking for a pack of lights. The dodgier the place the better because some of them weren't concerned with upholding legal values but rather pocketing the extra few dollars. After I turned 18, that worry then shifted to booze. This proved more difficult since shops are prone to card you more often.. let's face it booze is a lot more risque so I conceded and drank at dodgy Korean establishments notorious for serving underage, past 2 AM to make it worse!

After 21 there really are no more worries or self-conciousness with being put on the spot or coming up with a dumb excuse to save face. One thing still remains for me, however. Back in 9th grade I was 5 foot 7 and I figured I was still young and growing. When it came time to apply for my driver's permit, I filled out 5'9, sure that I would grow a few more inches. Today I'm 28 and still 5'7.. and my license still says 5'9. I've also shaved my head since so I don't resemble my license very much. It hasn't happened yet, but most times I go to a bar, the bouncer will do a double take to make sure I'm the person but the height question hasn't been raised yet (probably due to the shaved head and weight loss). But what if it does? Do I go on a spiel about how I foreshadowed growing 2 inches 12 years ago and never corrected my license after 3 renewals? The DPS makes it far too easy to renew our licenses online with a click. They should take more responsibility in forcing its people to take a trip every five years and do a proper update of their records.

Oh my license also says I don't need corrective lenses but I've been wearing glasses/contacts for the past 5 years but I figure the bar guy won't be staring into my eyes to detect lenses.

Time for a trip to the DPS.

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